Revision: Analysis Essay

In my analysis essay The Greatest Team You Never Heard Of, I felt it was an okay essay as far as hitting all the points I wanted to on the US Women's Soccer Team photo. During the revision process my peers pointed a few things that I could improve on in my essay. Other than the fact that I felt like my opening paragraph was sort of weak, I was missing a clear thesis statement that organized what i was going to be saying in my body paragraphs. Some things can be elaborated on to again make the length of the essay longer, for example I can elaborate on the certain rhetorical methods used on the image I chose. Also, since I know that Nike produced the image I can elaborate on things like why they chose this photo and how it affected the audience of people paying attention to women's soccer. The most important thing in my opinion would be adding the thesis statement to my essay because it literally sets the tone of the whole paper. I will be using all of the revision tips my peers have given me because it will help my paper become stringer and in the end it will help me to receive a better grade on my essay.